Okay so I have something to confess. I might seem like I am calm and super excited about the twins...and I am. But I am scared. Scared as hell that Thursday is going to bring me bad news. As some of you may know, Thursday is my ultrasound day. I am so scared, actually scared isn't the word, I think terrified would be more fitting. I am terrified that that ultrasound is going to show either I have lost one of the babies, or both. I know the doctor said that it was a good thing that the bleeding stopped and I never had any cramping, but I just can't help thinking I am going to go in there and be extremely devastated.
I try and justify it, thinking well I still get nauseous and feel tired all the time, and pretty irritable. But I haven't been feeling emotional, like I was crying all the time. I have been feeling more perky and together, not so out there and raw emotionally. Until yesterday, it hit me and I have been pretty emotionally hard for me thinking about this Thursday. But I keep thinking all this is in my head...the symptoms that is.
I am trying to think positively, but I am not sure I could take telling everyone...no I lost one of them or both of them. It's like living it over and over again!
Who knew I could go from total freak out about having 2 babies, to wanting them more than anything in the world. I am just trying to keep my chin up and not think about it every minute, but those who know me well know that's not possible for me.
So here's hoping that they are both healthy with strong little heartbeats. I just want to get through the next few months without any more crazyness.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Well...I'M OFF BED REST!!! WOO HOO
Hello family and friends!
Well I had my OB appointment today, which I was not so patiently waiting for, but then again when you are stuck doing nothing all week, what is there to do but count the hours!!!
So I went to William's Lake to see Dr. Gill (AKA: Jeff Bridges/Josh Brolin look alike) and oh before I get started...did I mention Emma woke up puking her guts out!!! Poor little girl, she felt terrible and here we needed to make her sit in a truck for an hour each way! Not to also mention that once she started yakking, it would set me off...so I should say POOR MATT!! LOL
Anyways, so I met with Dr. Gill. He basically went over what this pregnancy is going to be like for me, and what I need to look forward to, to prepare myself. He spent a hour with us, so the basic overview is this:
- starting in 2 weeks I have to have a ultrasound a month (super fun, for those men out there...try having to really really pee but you can't and have someone press this scanner on your bladder and don't move at all!!!)
- As of 24 weeks I am to stop working, so that's the end of May. And basically that is to reduce chances to pre-term labor so I am to keep myself low on stress and activity as the point is to keep the babies in there longer.
- They won't let me go past 38 weeks, but probably deliver 36-37 weeks.
- I have to go for blood tests coming up to screen for Down Syndrome and defects.
- I have to make sure I drink at LEAST 4 large glasses of milk a day because the babies need the calcium otherwise they will suck me dry so to speak!
- Near the end of the pregnancy I will be given some sort of steroid shots to make the babies lungs mature as they will be born premature.
And that is about it, besides some little things that don't need to be repeated! lol
But anyways as for the bleeding that I had, he didn't say much, but that it's a good thing that I never had cramps. It could of been stress, I still might have lost one of the babies, we'll see at the ultrasound in two weeks. I still have to take it easy, keep my stress down, but if I'm going to miscarry, then it will happen no matter what I am doing at this point. Which sucks, it feels like there's nothing that can be done...which there isn't, but man in this day and age with all sorts of medical advances and they can't do anything. It's pretty frustrating.
Anyways, it seems like I'm in for quite a ride!!! But for now the little cupcakes are doing well, I'm still super nauseous and emotional!!! It's one day at a time right now!!
Well I had my OB appointment today, which I was not so patiently waiting for, but then again when you are stuck doing nothing all week, what is there to do but count the hours!!!
So I went to William's Lake to see Dr. Gill (AKA: Jeff Bridges/Josh Brolin look alike) and oh before I get started...did I mention Emma woke up puking her guts out!!! Poor little girl, she felt terrible and here we needed to make her sit in a truck for an hour each way! Not to also mention that once she started yakking, it would set me off...so I should say POOR MATT!! LOL
Anyways, so I met with Dr. Gill. He basically went over what this pregnancy is going to be like for me, and what I need to look forward to, to prepare myself. He spent a hour with us, so the basic overview is this:
- starting in 2 weeks I have to have a ultrasound a month (super fun, for those men out there...try having to really really pee but you can't and have someone press this scanner on your bladder and don't move at all!!!)
- As of 24 weeks I am to stop working, so that's the end of May. And basically that is to reduce chances to pre-term labor so I am to keep myself low on stress and activity as the point is to keep the babies in there longer.
- They won't let me go past 38 weeks, but probably deliver 36-37 weeks.
- I have to go for blood tests coming up to screen for Down Syndrome and defects.
- I have to make sure I drink at LEAST 4 large glasses of milk a day because the babies need the calcium otherwise they will suck me dry so to speak!
- Near the end of the pregnancy I will be given some sort of steroid shots to make the babies lungs mature as they will be born premature.
And that is about it, besides some little things that don't need to be repeated! lol
But anyways as for the bleeding that I had, he didn't say much, but that it's a good thing that I never had cramps. It could of been stress, I still might have lost one of the babies, we'll see at the ultrasound in two weeks. I still have to take it easy, keep my stress down, but if I'm going to miscarry, then it will happen no matter what I am doing at this point. Which sucks, it feels like there's nothing that can be done...which there isn't, but man in this day and age with all sorts of medical advances and they can't do anything. It's pretty frustrating.
Anyways, it seems like I'm in for quite a ride!!! But for now the little cupcakes are doing well, I'm still super nauseous and emotional!!! It's one day at a time right now!!
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