Things I wish I did....

Things I wish I did…

- I wish I was a coupon clipper. I envy women I see in the check out line with their nicely clipped coupons, shopping with a purpose and meal plan. I have never done that…the only time I do use coupons is if Matt noticed it while we were walking into the store. But honestly I do envy slash hate those women. Like everything is easy for them and they have all the time in the world to do that. Those women are typically also the women or Mom’s I should say who look like they have it all together. Really this is just about me feeling in-adequate as a mom, wife and woman. Maybe they don’t have it all together but it’s all about appearances for them. ((Look like you’re together and people will think that!)) Well it works!

- I wish I shopped organically. Not I’m so so on this one. Part of me thinks that it is sort of a gimmick to shop organically. I mean how do we REALLY know that it is organic? Unless you grow something yourself, you can’t really know. But again with people who shop organically are making a statement that “I care about what my family eats.” Or “I’m healthier than you”…I dunno…I don’t mean to say that these people are bad. I just want to know really are they following the herd or did they do research on what it means to eat organic. Now I do care what my family eats, but also I feel that we have all been surviving as a species for a VERY long time and yes…will lots of things give you cancer? yes. Will lots of things make you gain weight? yes. Heart disease yes…yadda yadda yadda. But honestly that can happen from anything as well. But going back to my statement, I wish I shopped organically. I do…because outwardly it would say that yes I do care about what I eat, because since I am so overweight I feel like it’s displayed for all to see, so I must not care what I eat because of my size.

- I wish I actually read the newspaper. When I get a paper…and I state yes I read the paper today. What I’m actually saying is I did either one of two things… One I either started reading the article but got bored, as I usually do, and didn’t finish it – so I tend not to know all the facts. Two, I scanned the title and bits of info from the article. Again knowing just enough to get info.

- I wish I was more obsessive about cleaning. Honestly I’m not. I am a surface cleaner. I do the minimum to get by. Although it drives me nuts that I know underneath the wash and dryer it must be so gross, I don’t do anything about it. Cause that requires more than what I want to do. And I need help to do it. Although I can’t take full responsibility on this one…Matt totally contributes to this too. I need help to do the major things and I get easily overwhelmed, if I actually sat down and thought about everything I SHOULD do, I probably would never do it.

- I wish I took better care of myself. I never take time to work on myself…my physical self that is. It’s like I can’t be bothered to do that. Or really for that matter, my emotional self I haven’t worked on that in a while too. And as I wrote in my previous blog, I feel like I am ready to change so maybe there is where I should focus my energy.

- I wish I meal planned. I really wish I did that, food shopping would be better and I wouldn’t face that time of day where I have nothing planned and I wander around the kitchen thinking hmmmm what do we have to make, we don’t have anything…yep it’s cheese and crackers for dinner. When in actual fact we do have food for dinner, I just don’t want to take the time to prep.

All in all there are tons of things I wished I did, maybe instead of thinking of things I wished I did, I should actually do them…hmmm now’s there’s a thought!